I knew I'd spoken too soon. Only did three miles last night (should've been four) as lots of niggly aches and pains were giving me warning signs. Probably should have listened to them even earlier though as I've now got a sharp pain in my lower left shin, just above the ankle. It hurts when I walk, just as my heel hits the ground. It's not unbearable but it's very uncomfortable.
Plus the old pain of a few weeks ago is back in the other ankle. My back also feels like it's on the verge of going. Every fucking thing is sore! I feel, today, about as agile as an 87 year old osteoporosis patient recovering from a double hip replacement.
All I can think about at the moment, is the 18 miles I have to run tomorrow morning. It seems ridiculous to be feeling so nervous about doing something which, at the end of the day, is my own choice. But I know I have to do it if I'm going to stand any chance of completing this marathon.
I'm trying to work out what exactly it is that I feel so anxious about. Is it the distance itself? It's the longest distance I will have ever run. But it's only 2 miles longer than the 16 miler I did two weeks ago. Is it the pain? It's bloody hard work; without a doubt the hardest, most exhausting and most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. And I am scared of the pain I suppose. But only in as much as what it would mean if I got any more injured - the possibility of having to pull out. The pain in and of itself is not really an issue - I've run through violent stitches, gigantic blisters, bleeding feet, burning shins and seized-up hips so far, and I've always, somehow, managed to finish. So is it the amount of time it takes then? I'm a really slow runner. So everything takes me so much longer than probably 80% of other runners. These 18 miles, based on previous performance, will probably mean that I will be continually running for around 3.30 - 3.45 hrs. Out the door at 9am and not back in again till 12.45. It's a daunting prospect.
Most of all, I think it's the fear that I will give up. That my attitude will be the thing that lets me down. Although I've never given up on a long run yet, the longer they get, the harder it is to keep digging deep and finding the resolve to carry on going.
Plus the old pain of a few weeks ago is back in the other ankle. My back also feels like it's on the verge of going. Every fucking thing is sore! I feel, today, about as agile as an 87 year old osteoporosis patient recovering from a double hip replacement.
All I can think about at the moment, is the 18 miles I have to run tomorrow morning. It seems ridiculous to be feeling so nervous about doing something which, at the end of the day, is my own choice. But I know I have to do it if I'm going to stand any chance of completing this marathon.
I'm trying to work out what exactly it is that I feel so anxious about. Is it the distance itself? It's the longest distance I will have ever run. But it's only 2 miles longer than the 16 miler I did two weeks ago. Is it the pain? It's bloody hard work; without a doubt the hardest, most exhausting and most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. And I am scared of the pain I suppose. But only in as much as what it would mean if I got any more injured - the possibility of having to pull out. The pain in and of itself is not really an issue - I've run through violent stitches, gigantic blisters, bleeding feet, burning shins and seized-up hips so far, and I've always, somehow, managed to finish. So is it the amount of time it takes then? I'm a really slow runner. So everything takes me so much longer than probably 80% of other runners. These 18 miles, based on previous performance, will probably mean that I will be continually running for around 3.30 - 3.45 hrs. Out the door at 9am and not back in again till 12.45. It's a daunting prospect.
Most of all, I think it's the fear that I will give up. That my attitude will be the thing that lets me down. Although I've never given up on a long run yet, the longer they get, the harder it is to keep digging deep and finding the resolve to carry on going.
posted by Rab at 3:44 PM
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